Feeling’ Fine at Twenty-Nine

Another year, another birthday. I’ve been documenting my birthdays for the past few years now. It’s wild to look back on those posts because my twenties have been so full of growth, change, gains and loss.

This is the last year of this crazy decade of my life. When I turned twenty, I was in an AWFUL relationship. I was working at my very first photography job, at a studio in the mall. That was also awful. I wasn’t anywhere close to graduating college, in fact I wouldn’t graduate for another five years. I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be. I thought $500 was a lot of money.

Since then I’ve worked in a number of careers and jobs. Graduated with my Master’s Degree. I now own a house (post to come on that soon). I have experienced several different types of relationships; some good, some bad. I’m still not content with life but I don’t think I ever will be. It’s amazing to look back on my younger self and compare myself to now. I don’t really know who I am now but I have a much better grip than I did back then.

I didn’t think I’d leave my twenties without my dad. Yet, here I am. I didn’t think I’d make it to the end of my twenties if I’m being completely honest. My journey with depression has really been a struggle and it’s only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. Fortunately I have a wonderful support system and a loyal group of people to stand by me and to keep me loved and safe. Thank you.

Here are some links to previous birthday posts. Ignore the fact that they’re with someone who I no longer have in my life (my choice), however, these birthdays were just as valid in growth and change as the rest of them are and will be.

Thanks, G for spending the day with me on my birthday and for being open to doing whatever. I had a lot of fun and I love ya. I am so, so happy you are in my life. I’ve learned so much about myself through you. Keep being your best. You help me to be my best every day.

I am learning how to be content in not being content.

Like my birthday dress? Get it here! Eleter Sexy Deep V-Neck Short Sleeve High Waist Floral See-Through Lace Prom Dress Overlay Jumpsuit Romper Dress

I want to do this post a little different than my past posts. Y’all don’t really care what I did for my birthday, you wanna know how I’m different at this age than previous ones, yeah? Here’s a little list of things I’ve learned.

We trade youth for wisdom.

  • Wearing makeup all day everyday will get tiring, you’ll start to go without it more and more because you realize sleep is more important.
  • It’s ok to try out a new job or career pathway and not like it and leave. No one can force you to stay.
  • It’s ok to not love someone the way you used to or thought you did. It’s ok for that definition to change.
  • It’s ok to say no. It’s ok not to give an explanation why.
  • Your body will change and that’s how it is. Judge yourself based on how your clothes fit, not a number on a scale or what someone else says to you.
  • Rainbows are pretty, flowers are pretty too. They are nothing alike.
  • Hatred really is a large burden to carry around with you. You don’t have to forgive people but you do have to allow yourself to let things go.
  • Hair is just hair. If you fuck it up, it’ll usually grow back.
  • You are not chained to a specific career path. Allow yourself to try out new things. Your interests will change as you get older, embrace it, don’t hide from it.
  • Don’t waste your twenties wishing you were more successful. It’s a time to experiment.
  • You are not responsible for anyone else’s insecurities but you are responsible for your own.
  • Letting the past dictate your future will ruin your future.
  • Trust your gut instinct.
  • Take good care of your teeth! I made a new year’s resolution in 2016 to do that and now they’re 1000x better and I feel better.
  • Eat the pasta.
  • Know your worth and value in your skill. Only accept clients who know it too, the rest will follow.
  • It’s ok to not be nice all the time. You don’t owe anyone anything, however being respectful is important.
  • Give yourself a space to be free.
  • Don’t apologize for who you are. People who love you won’t need an apology.
  • Be there for your friends, don’t feel obligated to be there for everyone.
  • If someone likes you, you won’t have to ask them.

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